For A Journey.

To everyone, whenever. Love, and be loved.

ibid

I feel like vomiting all the things that I have said. I feel a strong verbal nausea.

worse -- I feel a strong unbalance, both physical and mental.

Bracket F

Well.

Bracket E

Masalahnya, layakkah?

Malaysia, It is Time.

A comment I put up in my studio group in, MMX, in Facebook. Perhaps it is kind to have it shared here.

***

Hi friends,

1. I am worried that the paranoia over Dato' Ambiga's defence of Lina Joy's case is being overprojected by, practically, everyone being against the demonstration or the entity they defined as 'the Opposition', in general.

First off it was Lina Joy's personal err, in which it was her decision to convert. May I remind everyone that this can happen anytime: whether she is under a secular government or any Islamist government implementing the Sharia, or even within an anarchy.

This is not the case of 'Melayu Mudah Lupa'. To forget is never exclusive only to Malays. It's a human thing. The root of the Arabic word for humans, which is insan, is 'to forget', and forget did Lina Joy.

She was a Muslim. And she forgot what Al Aiman repetitively said in this discussion, 'to hold to the Qur'an and the Sunnah'. And didn't the Qur'an and the Sunnah ruled out clearly on matters regarding leaving Islam altogether?

She now needs a lawyer. There was Dato' Ambiga.

2. A lawyer, no surprise, acts according to Law. And the Law, holds the Federal Constitution. Fortunately for some, unfortunately for others (something referred to as 'loopholes' by members of this discussion) the Constitution grants freedom of practicing any religion of choice.

A lawyer, no surprise, acts according to Law. And the Law, holds the Federal Constitution. Fortunately for some, unfortunately for others, the Federal Constitution was approved by our nation's founding forefathers. And they were..

Certainly it wasn't Dato' Ambiga.

3. I'm a Bumiputra. A Sanskrit word. Bhumi - soil, putra - son, hence 'son of the soil'. Since this is an MMX group, definitely joined by solely UiTM students, everybody here is a Bumiputra too. So everybody here is 'sons of the soil' and like Sara Azmi argued, we're UiTM students ultimately because of this reason. I agree.

But this doesn't pave any way for us to be afraid of other 'races', what more breeding hatred towards them. We can't be racists, and we can't condone racism. The Quran said so. And the Qur'an, as the most non-racist, non-discriminatory book on the planet, also states that we have been made different from each other to learn from each other.

Can we do that? Yes.

We got skills from the past few years. Whatever we got from our Perak and Shah Alam lecturers, be them pro-Team 10 or just a regular DK Ching adherent trying to amend things, they tought us skills. Do move forward from these skills. Nothing's going to stop you. The world is so vast. Go out. Play. Laugh. Learn. Live. Die.

Adam was from the soil. Adam is a Bumiputra. Adam is human.

Whatever you do, come, celebrate being a human.

4. I was with a bunch of humans yesterday. Humans collectively known as Malaysians. They possess the same traits humans all over dearly possess: feelings. And they felt.

Those who didn't walk, felt too. They felt angry: "Hah, habislah Melayu! Diperbodohkan bangsa lain!" "It will be another May 13, 1969!" "Ini semua agenda pihak luar nak tengok bangsa kita berpecah belah!" "Tak bersyukur!"

I was with a bunch of humans yesterday. We were happy. I wasn't sure whether was it the rain, or it is me who shed tears.

I told my closest friend, who was with me in that rally: "Semua orang ada, semua orang! I never thought I'd live to see this!"

What I meant was, I never thought I'd live to see Malaysians from all walks of life - and, well, in a 1Malaysia campaign's words, 'berbilang bangsa dan agama' - walked side by side, being humans.

How beautiful it is, to be human, in Malaysia, yesterday!

5. Everything goes with context. This goes without saying in design, and eventually life. And Allah has allowed us to be born in 1989, to live as a Muslim in the 21st century, in the midst of 6 billion people.

6 billion people in possession of lots and lots of ideas.

We have to go with this. We have to design things with this, this context. If we continue to have fear that 'other people will chase us out', or 'kita akan dijajah dalam negara sendiri', we're not bound to be far ahead.

The world is wide, but the akal is much wider. Put barriers in our minds, and no surprise that our world will be smaller.

All the best, friends.

***

And all the best, Malaysia.

Bracket D

My heart is sealed the closest now, if anybody notices. It's too late.

Senseless Dawn

The whole 140-character thing Twitter has apparently is, quite unfortunately, bugging me from writing longer sentences. The magic is, though, is how Twitter has managed to force at least a portion of its users to explain whatever that they're feeling (or, accurately, what's happening) into a composed text in a limited number of characters. I personally think that, disciplinary in writing-wise at least, it's clever.

Moving on -- rolled up my blinds as usual today, as soon as the time on my laptop ticks 6:44AM. I'm not sure about that though, I mean, why -- why did I rolled up the blind right after that. Recalling that, which just happened half an hour ago anyway, shouldn't 6:44AM be a bit too early to roll up the blinds, the curtain, or whatever that's covering your windows? It's wrong and funny, especially for Malaysian time. Where the hell did I think I was?

It's just one of the little nonsensical things I do -- doing things unconsciously. I have been unconscious especially for the past few days, and while some of you won't like reading this, it's kind of becoming a fact that I'm accepting. If last year, the Depression has caused me to twirl all over and to some extent turned blind, this new phenomenon -- albeit familiar -- seems confusing. 

Now, slouching towards the end of February, the pain suddenly strikes back. It's like an old friend visiting. Funny thing though, I greeted it with no surprise. Though I must believe, that it's beginning to periodically altering some of my forcefully-arranged routines, so-called, of the things I do to distract me from all these pain (and, rather ironically, intended to change my life).

I must say that even I myself am worried along the way of jotting this down. As usual my sleep watch has been toggled greatly -- God knows when I'm asleep and when I'm awake, it can be anytime! I'm already fixing it, the sleep cycle, the focus part, the workload, everything. However it just keeps coming.

For the mean while, I'm just moodless. At many times, I'm beyond speechless. I'm finding myself at odds not only with the person I have been trying so much to avoid, but now with nearly everyone, my Timeline, my studio mates, even my closest of friends. Is this part of the paranoia, the trauma, signs of an early new stage of pain, or what?

...I don't know how to conclude this. Solutions, at many times, just conclude myself to leave. I obviously can't. What, then?

You Can't Be Scared Now, Boy

What are you scared of now?