An end, another beginning, tales of a year and stuffs to hold for the next: A post.

OK, first things first. I actually have started to write something about last year - 2007 - for more than a week. So many have been turned into drafts because I am simply NOT SURE what to write about EXACTLY. Well I'm not good but summarizing either, but for a year that has been so tremendous (for me), surely something has to be said about it. Something! My uncertainties and indecisiveness have made this post (not counting the other posts since Christmas that has been turned into drafts), commenced on December 31, 2007 and ended in January 1, 2008. Now that's a long post!

December 31, 2007

I would regret letting the year to make an exit just like that without having a proper note written about it. So this is going to be vain and exaggerative, but whatever it is, 2007 really was phenomenal.

For me, the year was, by right, transitional. It saw changes that took place for real. Changes that were made by myself, maybe by you, and the people around me. Changes that walked a big deal out of everything. And finally, to the point that I finally feel that I deserve to call certain points of my life as 'changes', and many parts of 2007 became the turning point of them.

I started the year naked in thoughts and maturity. No puns intended. Half the year was spent in a 'It's Complicated' relationship, while the other half a very much happy single guy full of zest. The first quarter of the year was spent much in enjoying the post-SPM free time, taking up driving lessons until the result was out.

Come PLKN, and for two months, I really am not sure of what I was doing. I was not being me, yet I was learning things that were not actually new, but rather introduced again in a very fundamental point of view. Straightforwardly, PLKN really changed things a lot. For myself, of course, but even in my connections with the people around me, especially those back at home.

People change, and they change more even when you're not around. In a good way or bad I am not so sure, but when I am finally back from the relative wilderness to my so-called original life here, I was blatantly culture-shocked. Things were different back in Sabah of course, but here? So I was a little sickened. When I know some people were not meeting each other when I'm not around, and when people make jokes I don't even have a clue of, I was disappointed.

After my rather arranged break up, I set off for Istanbul. It was sort of a recovery process, somewhat in denial, but I got my refreshments back there. And when I'm back in KL in June, everything seemed to recover from my eyes. Things was sure once again.

July was coming. I thought I got what I wanted when I were given the chance to grab the UiTM offer. It was something that I looked forward to, despite the scornful suggestions that questioned my decision of going to Perak, instead of enrolling myself in private colleges. It was after entering and being a UiTM student that I took notice the staggering attitude crisis and all the problems people have talked about.

I had to deal with that. Adapting myself in was an issue, and not falling into being typical was another. Many times the problems happening in between ourselves - the students - happened to reflect the problem that is happening within our society itself. It's crucial. Somehow the attitude blockade is really giving a big halt to liberalise our thoughts, and afterwards, modernise. Been there, done that, and been confused all over again.

And so a new semester is beginning. A year will be put to an end.

2007 was really not all about how many places I've traveled to, or how many new friends that I've met. I love the new places and the new people, true, but that really is another thing. They just took part in the process, adding to the colour and accelerating the cycles. In the end what matters is how I react to them.

There are a lot to be listed down. However there is one thing for sure - I don't regret anything. Things that happened throughout the year quite simply thought me that it is important to be independent. Sometimes people can turn their backs on you - worse still their asses - while you're being so dependent towards them. It really messes things up, and it sucks big time when that happens.

So it's time look forward. I am fed up of reminiscing. Liberal is the new traditional, and while keeping in touch with my faith and what I believe in at the core, I am trying to see things out of the typical views.

PLKN and UiTM opened the doors for me to know what life does to my new friends out there. People who don't go to PLKN, more so PLKN in Sabah, will not understand. One thing for sure - it reminded me of how we are being in a comfort zone so vast, we're slowly becoming ignorant of other people. If you don't want to admit it, well, it goes for me that way anyhow.

These things could happen anytime, but for me, it happened in 2007. It is true that if you can't go against the flow than go with it. PLKN is best experienced when you're one of the trainees. Though I still think that some of my points are still relevant (dismiss the emotional remarks, really), it is best to criticize the programme after you have taken part in it. Which not everybody had the chance to do so, but I did.

Happy? I don't know. Sad? Not exactly. National Service, in the end, is always something subjective.

Well I'm another teenager still trying to set up his own identity. Slowly throughout the year I've took the effort to improvise, and for that I'm glad. Not for people to take notice, but just to make myself happy. And sometimes people who throw those negative thoughts are just not meant to be screwed, but they are just fucking around to make things better with their (sometimes true) criticisms.

January 1, 2008

My New Year's Eve? Well, it was a blast! The only idea at first was only to go for a lahap session down at Hartamas, in which we - Dira, Nadia and I - did rather successfully anyway. But instead of going straight back home, I decided to crash The Curve (the one where we want to avoid at first due to the heavy traffic jam), where we met lots and lots and lots of jovial people, so it was really fun! (there's a lot to be listed down, just think of the usual + unusual circle of wacky friends. For a general idea of the people, go Flickr!).

We left the very energetic (and overflowing) crowd at The Curve to 1) Escape from the expected traffic jam after midnight, 2) for a great view of the fireworks. So we went to Damansara Perdana first to find a spot, but of no success, until I found a bunch of happy people parking their cars on the Penchala Link flyover ramp. So we decided to park there too and spending the rest of our year there (which is, 15 minutes left).

The view was really great from there. We got to see fireworks from everywhere - Uptown, those faraway PJ areas, OU, Taman Tun, even a bit from Hartamas, and the last one the Curve. So it was a happy start for a new year, and I was very happy. And traffic on the way home was so smooth (because I know the escape route - LDP was stuffed!).

What I especially like was the feeling I had when I ushered into the year - calm. Perfectly calm. I realized now, and then, that 2007 is finally over and some parts of it are just meant to be cherished, and the some other parts to be totally left behind, forgotten.

Unlike last year, 2008 is not easy to be something expected. Simply, nothing is arranged about it, the whole year is just relatively unknown, so basically life in 2008 is just left blank for me to determine. I see many options lying ahead and funnily, though uncertain, I feel secure. At least very much secure than I was when 2007 started.

Fine, rape me because I'm quite traditional, but really, I do see this time of the year as a period of renewal. Just like clicking the 'refresh' button when everything gets lagged, or eating Twisties in a traffic jam. I don't quite have those to-do-lists, or maybe another bunch of resolutions but rather some wishful thoughts, or maybe some anticipations in between.

I didn't hear the clock ticks to twelve or whatever dramatic moments signaling the new year except for the fireworks, but as the moment I know I am not in 2008 anymore, there was also a sudden urge of hope. Hope to fix things (including the camera), and refurbish life all over again. I'm not sure precisely how, but this year seems to be the time.

Parts of 2007 has been dramatic, yes. Some of it are also unnecessarily dramatic, if you know what I mean. Quite honestly this (stuffs like jealousy, backstabbing, those friendship tra-la-las) is one of the things that I would really want to avoid, if ever going to happen, in 2008. Though I really think that these things that are so childish should be banned totally from our minds.

Frankly, I gave the year a good start. For now, there is a whole new year for you and me to shape. Sure, we can only plan, but doesn't planning gives a hand in ensuring future? And with that, from A to Z (or alif to ya, if you prefer), everything is under God's will. In the end of the day it's up to you to make your own judgements that are not subject to those mislabeling infidelity or overprotecting faith, or whatever lah, but judgments that are made by ourselves.

I've learned in 2007 to go out of the box and take challenges. I've achieved and at certain points failed too. I've tried to liberalize, and put a force on rigid thinking. I've tolerated and took a right pace to anything new - not too slow, and not too fast, but just the right speed. I've been alienated and accepted, I've seen and ignored, and that all formed the ups and downs of my 2007.

Everything was like a social conundrum of some sort - from the comfortable Seksyen 9 to the remote Kampung Ovai, from the cold breeze of Switzerland to the random stalls down at the hot Taman Maju, completed by the interesting people from (seriously, seriously) various backgrounds I've met from the early months until yesterday. Really, things have been marvelous. 2007 was really vibrant in a no-nonsense way.

And I'm not even exaggerating. I'm elaborating.

2007 was just another figure before it becomes a year. And a great year it was, and just like any year could've been, it come and go - just like some things that are meant to stay, and some that are just meant to be left away. Whether we like it or not, it's already the first day of a brand new year.

For you, blog readers - that includes Ayah, Mama and Acu - friends and cousins, I wish you a very Happy New Year!

Syukrishairi 2008 - Going back to Seri Iskandar now, gotta rush!